The Ninja

"What's going on Mr. Peterson?"

"The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody."

Location: Fast Eddies... AHHHH....

Time: 10:30 PM

I was visiting my friend who was guest bartending at Fast Eddies when a man approached me. He was medium height, solidly built Asian man with a ponytail. I became intrigued by this only because I haven't seen that since the Karate Kid movies. My pension for awkward men and awkward scenarios only made this encounter more enticing.

Ponytail: Can I play the game behind you?

He was pointing to the fake computer that was on the bar that I was sitting in front of. People come out to bars now, not to socialize, but to sit in a dark corner, and play texas hold 'em. They also have beer pong on there, which makes me debate... why not just go home, play the real thing, and get drunk the old fashioned way? Why come to a bar to play a drinking game by yourself, on a computer, and pay ten times more for beer?

Ponytail: I think you can just move it to the side, and I can stand to the side of you. You don't even have to give me your seat.

I was trying to be overly cordial, and I began begging him to take my chair. I was hopping in and out of my bar stool. He refused to make me move, and so I began to twist the computer over. He took his place to the side of me, and as I was looking at him I did not notice the computer rotate into my full beer, and onto my crotch.

This was my second beer. I had been there less than a half hour. And I was wearing light colored jeans.

When it looks like you peed your pants, I think that just screams going home solo.